Top 6 jokes about Mujo & Haso

Mujo and Haso are Bosnian national joke idols for many decades before. There is a million jokes about Mujo and Haso from ex-Yugoslavian region. Everybody here knows about them. And a movie was made about these two guys by Ranko Đurić Đuro and Igor Arih in Slovenia (ex-Yugoslavian country).

Often there is one women in their jokes and her name is Fata. Also, sometimes there is third funny guy called Suljo. So, we picked up five funnies jokes about Mujo and Haso and translated them into English:

1. Football game and beer
Mujo and Haso went to football game. They made an agreement - when any team achieve one goal they will take one dram of beer. Football game ended with score 0:0. Then Mujo said to Haso:

- "Haso, let's go to the basketball game!"

Note: This is typical joke about Mujo and Haso. Simple, sharp and funny.

2. Mercedes
One American, one German and Haso were asked about the time period in which they can buy brand new Mercedes.

- "I can buy Mercedes for one month" - said American.
- "Ich can buy Mercedes for twenty days" - said German.
- "I must call my darling Fata. She hold all our finance and she is only one who can give me an answer" - said Haso.

- "Halo, Fata! How much time do we need to buy Mercedes?"
- "Uh, Haso, call me back in 5 minutes till I count everything and check the situation".

After five minutes....

- "So, Fata, did you calculated?"
- "Yes! We need six months to buy Mercedes"
- "Er, what??" Six months?! Are you nuts? Why so much time?"
- "Calm down, dear. It is not my fault. You know that Mercedes is a big company with many, many workers in it.... It is not so easy!"

Note: This joke is about IQ of Mujo, Haso and Fata. This one is very polite joke. Many of their jokes are about sex and their stupidity. Many of jokes are not translatable to English because ex-Yugoslavian languages (remember - similar but different!!) have many, may rude words. We could say that anywhere on Earth you can not find such richness of rude words (linked with sex of woman and men) then here. These words are so rude that they are NOT mentioned in local dictionaries.

3. Fata and doctor
Fata is taken by intensive care in city hospital. Mujo is waiting for doctor in front of main entrance. Doctor came out and talked to Mujo:

- "Your Fata is not looking good"
- "Doctor, I know that, but she is good cooker, she is good with our children and that is the reason why she is my wife"

Note: Another one about their IQ. Some Bosnian people (from Bosnia and Herzegovina) didn't like these jokes because sometimes Mujo was not called "Mujo" but only "Bosnian". But, when you use name Mujo or Haso in joke, they are not offended. They laugh. In spite of fact that Mujo and Haso are national symbols for Bosnian people.

4. Unemployed Mujo
Mujo came to institution for unemployment social care. The asked them for their occupation:

- "I'm bagger assistant."
- "Er?! What does it mean?"
- "You don't know?! It is simple - everything bagger can not - I do with paddle!"

Note: Bosnia was never been developed country because of many historical wars (Ottoman Empire, two Word Wars, Balkan wars) and today also, Bosnian people don't have developed economy. So, many people are without job there.

5. Mujo in Germany
Mujo went to Germany to find a real job. He is talking to his possible employee.

- "From where are you?"
- "From Bosnia."
- "Oh, yes. I'm sorry, but you, people from Bosnia, can not work in our company because you are so lazy!"
- "No, no, no! We are not lazy! People from Montenegro are lazy. We are dumb! So, do I have a job?"

Note: Another one which is joking about Bosnian IQ, but also with Montenegro's laziness. It was not so rare, but because of bad working environment, many of Bosnian people (but, not only Bosnian - also Croats and Serbs) went to Germany for job after end of Second Word War till these days. Germany was importing foreign working power these days. Germany is now part of European Union and Bosnian people can't go there just like before. But, these days people from Bosnia and Herzegovina are going to work in nearby Croatia.

6. Kawasaki
(first time top six list!)

Haso and their friends were sitting in bar. First they heard:

- "Wroaaaarrrrrrrrrrr!!!! Wrrrrrrrrrrrrruum!!!"

...and went out to see what is going on. And they saw Mujo riding Kawasaki in main street. Mujo was yelling:

- "Does anybody here have Kawasaki like mine?!!?? Does anybody here have Kawasaki like mine??!??"

Haso just bought the same but little bit better motorbike. So, Haso yell at Mujo:

- "I have!"
- "Haso, can you tell me how to turn it down???!!"

Note: IQ again...

Never Builded Top 5 Famous Water Cities

Living on water paradise is old dream for many people. Did you watch the movie "Waterworld" (1995)? In the movie, some other the Earth in future is engulfed with water when the polar ice caps melts, leaving the lands and civilization beneath the sea. Drifters sail across the waters of the world on their man-made ships and trading for supplies. The Mariner (Kevin Costner) sails his trimoran over the seas between cities build in the middle of the ocean. What if I told you that there are real plans and projects for living-ships? You are amazed, aren't you?

1. First one is called The World
It is a plan of management company offering sales, marketing, operations and administration services for specialty luxury properties on land and sea - ResidenSea and their project is world’s only mobile and full-time floating luxury community called The World. Think of The World as a cruise ship - but on serious steroids!



2. The Freedom Ship
Another project - the Freedom Ship is a big step up from The World project, but also unbuilt as of yet, though 1/5 of the on-board living units have already been sold. What is the Freedom Ship? A mile-long, energy self-sufficient floating city with absolutely everything included from parks and playgrounds to apartments, businesses, schools, casinos and shopping malls. It is also networked for phone, mobile and internet telecommunications.




3. First Step in the Galaxy Colonization
The Living Universe Foundation is a weird foundation dedicated to the long-term colonization of the galaxy. In their short term, this foundation believe that a series of self-sufficient, semi-autonomous ocean-going cities are the first step on their eight-step journey (long-term colonization) to galactic conquest.

Apparently, the foundation has started with a land-based colony in Texas with one resident in a trailer. :-)



4. The Celestopia Project
The Celestopia Project is an attempt to colonize the Earth’s oceans by plan - one settlement at a time. They will invent to mine the ocean’s waters for not only “hydrogen and oxygen” but also for “platinum and gold”. Their web page suggests they will use Thermal Energy Converters (OTECs) to harvest power from temperature differentials in the ocean. Each such floating city will be designed to house 5,000 to 10,000 people and these will slowly cover the surfaces of all of the Earth’s oceans. So, land will be extended artificially. And the oceans will disappear in front of our feet.



5. The Triton City
In the 1960s, famous environmentalist, scientist, designer, philosopher and visionary - Buckminster Fuller - developed a design for Triton City which was a floating place of residence for up to 5,000 inhabitants. This floating place was designed to be resistant to natural forces that water cities might encounter on the ocean. Amazingly, but Triton City was approved by the Navy as well as the Department of Housing and Urban Development in the United States.

The Funniest Croatian Videos in 2007.

Of course, five of them. Here is the list of five the funniest Croatian videos. Some of them are very popular in motherland, but not popular around the world.

The worst thing is - if you don't know Croatian language, you couldn't understand some funny parts, but if you are familiar with Croatian - enjoy!

Others - remember that picture (or video) is like thousand of words!

1. Siniša Vuco, Croatian turbo-folk singer in Malnar's TV show


2. "Bitange i princeze" - Croatian TV serial - 1st time - music spot



3. "Bitange i princeze" - Croatian TV serial - 2nd time - "Najslabija karika"



4. Croatian Big Brother Show - Funny & Sexy Accident


5. Stand for elbow - SL 2000 & SL 1000


Sorry if you don't understand Croatian language, but you can always learn it!

Top 5 The Sexiest Croatian Celebrities ...From Croatian Lesbians To You

Here is top five list of the sexiest croatian girls from public life (singers, actress, ...) from croatian lesbians to world lesbians. Now they are listed here to all world. So, stop reading and start watching.... and come to visit Croatia in summer! ;-)

1. Severina (singer, actress)


2. Ida Prester (singer, speaker)


3. Yaya (singer, speaker)


4. Nives Celzijus (singer?, PlayBoy girl, married to famous football player)

5. Vanna (singer)

Happy New Year - in all world languages!

When everybody types into search engines some keywords like "new year eve party" - we wish a happy, happy and successful and emotional 2008. year to YOU and your family and friends! You can congratulate new year by the following ways:

LANGUAGE: TRANSLATION
AFRIKAANS: gelukkige nuwejaar
ALBANIAN: Gëzuar vitin e ri
ALSATIAN: e glëckliches nëies / güets nëies johr
ARABIC: ??? ???? (aam saiid) / sana saiida
ARMENIAN: shnorhavor nor tari
AZERI: yeni iliniz mubarek
BAMBARA: bonne année
BASQUE: urte berri on
BELARUSIAN: ? ????? ????? (Z novym hodam)
BENGALI: subho nababarsho
BERBER: asgwas amegas
BETI: mbembe mbu
BOBO: bonne année
BOSNIAN: sretna nova godina
BRETON: bloavezh mat / bloavez mad
BULGARIAN: ??????? ???? ?????? (chestita nova godina)
BURMESE: hnit thit ku mingalar pa
CANTONESE: sun lin fi lok / kung hé fat tsoi
CATALAN: bon any nou
CHINESE: xin nian kuai le / xin nian hao
CORSICAN: pace e salute
CROATIAN: sretna nova godina
CZECH: št(astný nový rok
DANISH: godt nytår
DARI: sale naw tabrik
DUTCH: gelukkig Nieuwjaar
ESPERANTO: felicxan novan jaron
ESTONIAN: head uut aastat
FAROESE: gott nýggjár
FINNISH: onnellista uutta vuotta
FLEMISH: gelukkig Nieuwjaar
FRENCH: bonne année
FRISIAN: lokkich neijier
FRIULAN: bon an
GALICIAN: feliz aninovo
GEORGIAN: ???????? ???? ???? (gilocavt akhal tsels)
GERMAN: ein gutes neues Jahr / prost Neujahr
GREEK: kali chronia / kali xronia
eutichismenos o kainourgios chronos (we wish you a happy new year)
GUJARATI: sal mubarak / nootan varshabhinandan
GUARANÍ: rogüerohory año nuévo-re
HAITIAN CREOLE: bònn ané
HAWAIIAN: hauoli makahiki hou
HEBREW: shana tova
HINDI: nav varsh ki subhkamna
HMONG: nyob zoo xyoo tshiab
HUNGARIAN: boldog új évet
ICELANDIC: farsælt komandi ár
INDONESIAN: selamat tahun baru
IRISH GAELIC: ath bhliain faoi mhaise
ITALIAN: felice anno nuovo, buon anno
JAVANESE: sugeng warsa enggal
JAPANESE: akemashite omedetô
KABYLIAN: asseguèsse-ameguèsse
KANNADA: hosa varshada shubhaashayagalu
KAZAKH: zhana zhiliniz kutti bolsin
KHMER: sur sdei chhnam thmei
KIRUNDI: umwaka mwiza
KOREAN: seh heh bok mani bat uh seyo
KURDE: sala we ya nû pîroz be
LAO: sabai di pi mai
LATIN: felix sit annus novus
LATVIAN: laimi-gu Jauno gadu
LIGURIAN: feliçe annu nœvu / feliçe anno nêuvo
LINGALA: bonana / mbula ya sika elamu na tonbeli yo
LITHUANIAN: laimingu; Nauju;ju; Metu;
LOW SAXON: gelükkig nyjaar
LUXEMBOURGEOIS: e gudd neit Joër
MACEDONIAN: ?????? ???? ?????? (srekna nova godina)
MALAGASY: arahaba tratry ny taona
MALAY: selamat tahun baru
MALTESE: is-sena t-tajba
MAORI: kia hari te tau hou
MARATHI: navin varshaachya hardik shubbheccha
MONGOLIAN: shine jiliin bayariin mend hurgeye (???? ?????? ?????? ???? ?v????)
MORÉ: wênd na kô-d yuum-songo
NDEBELE: umyaka omucha omuhle
NORWEGIAN: godt nyttår
OCCITAN: bon annada
PASHTO: nawe kaalmo mobarak sha
PERSIAN: sâle no mobârak
POLISH: szcze;s'liwego nowego roku
PORTUGUESE: feliz ano novo
ROMANCHE: bun di bun onn
ROMANI: baxtalo nevo bersh
ROMANIAN: un an nou fericit / la mult,i ani
RUSSIAN: ? ????? ????? (S novim godom)
SAMOAN: ia manuia le tausaga fou
SANGO: nzoni fini ngou
SARDINIAN: bonu annu nou
SCOTTISH GAELIC: bliadhna mhath ur
SERBIAN: srec'na nova godina
SHIMAORE: mwaha mwema
SHONA: goredzwa rakanaka
SINDHI: nain saal joon wadhayoon
SINHALA: suba aluth avuruddak vewa
SLOVAK: stastlivy novy rok
SLOVENIAN: srec(no novo leto
SOBOTA: dobir leto
SPANISH: feliz año nuevo
SRANAN: wan bun nyun yari
SWAHILI: mwaka mzuri / heri ya mwaka mpya
SWEDISH: gott nytt år
SWISS-GERMAN: es guets Nöis
TAGALOG: manigong bagong taon
TAHITIAN: ia orana i te matahiti api
TAMIL: iniya puthandu nalVazhthukkal
TATAR: yaña y?l belän
TELUGU: nuthana samvathsara subhakankshalu
THAI: ???????????? (sawatdii pimaï)
TIBETAN: tashi délek
TURKISH: yeni yiliniz kutlu olsun
UDMURT: Vyl( Aren
UKRAINIAN: Z novym rokom
URDU: naya saal mubarik
UZBEK: yangi yilingiz qutlug' bo'lsin
VIETNAMESE: Chúc Mu+`ng Na(m Mo+'i / Cung Chúc Tân Niên / Cung Chúc Tân Xuân
WALOON ("betchfessîs" spelling): bone annéye / bone annéye èt bone santéye
WELSH: blwyddyn newydd dda
WEST INDIAN CREOLE: bon lanné
WOLOF: dewenati
YIDDISH: a gut yohr

Be cool and prosper!

Top 5 Ski Advices

Fresh winter air in mountains has a good influence on kids' and adults' health. It is very important for all people to feel a need for recreation (e.g. skiing) because it has great impact on cardiovascular organs, it increases the breathing and worming a body. Here you can find the most important top five ski advices.

1. Menace of Sun
Damage of sun exposure is the most important in summer, but also in winter when we are in high mountain, above 2,000 meters. You must be especially careful to your skin in February and Mart. So, use your sun block - cream, milk or spray - and don't act as a hero. You could return to home black as coal.

2. Facial redness? You need moisture!
Blood vessels tend to shrink in the cold, but when you enter into the heated room, they tend to expand rapidly and redness of the face increases. Redness, prickle, the sensation of tenseness, dandruff and other skin modifications which appear in the winter period show that the skin suffers from lack of moisture and it is in the danger of premature aging. The loss of moisture during the winter is caused by cold, wind and heating but the skin modifications don't appear with the same intensity in everyone. The loss of moisture depends on the heritage, diet, and above all-skin care which doesn't have to be expensive. In order for skin to keep its freshness and tenderness it needs daily care. After washing with tepid water and skin preparation, apply a thin layer of hydrating cream. A good hydrating cream adheres to skin like silk and soaks in almost immediately. The dermatologists don't recommend, even during the winter, so called greasy creams because they close the pores and won't allow the skin to breathe. Greasy creams for children are not recommended neither. Adults need moisture, not grease.

3. Brrrr... it's cold!
The greatest enemies of skiing are cold and height, which make moving difficult and increases the energy consumption. Wear comfortable pants, jacket or ski suit, which guarantee thermal protection and cotton underwear to absorb the body sweat. You will also need a hat and ski gloves and sunglasses.

4. Gloves are not just fancy
People who don't wear gloves during the winter will have dry, damaged hands. People who are more sensitive to cold can also have skin excem. This is the reason why it's recommended to protect skin by using hand cream before going out into the cold air and wearing gloves. The best product for skin care are the ones that contain wail fat. These are ordinary hand creams that can be bought in majority of supermarkets and drug stores.


5. Uh, we are starting to feel hungry now
The food energy value is measured in calories. The consumption of energy depends on the type of sport and the duration of the competition and it can be very different which means that for every sport discipline diet has to be carefully planned on the basis of actual energy needs. According to the latest research, despite the advancement in the sports activities techniques, the energy consumption of the competitors body is constantly increasing due to the greater load during training. If the necessary energy is not fed it will be stored into organism. During skiing we lose 300 calories in the period of half an hour. That is why the daily need for food for skiers ranges from 4,000 to 5,000 calories. Choose highly energetic ingredients, which digest quickly and immediately provide the organism with needed energy (biscuits, sweets, chocolates). Alcoholic drinks are strictly prohibited!

The following diet is recommended to skiers:
Breakfast: It should be on the basis of carbohydrates and sugar (bread, marmalade, honey, butter, milk, biscuits,...)
Lunch: It should be light, easily digestible and warm. Avoid fat food.
Brunch: Coffee with milk or tea and cake.
Supper: It should be light and nutritive.

6. Good night!
Don't forget to get a really good sleep between skiing days.
Don't forget to bring camera with you to picture all great moments with your friends, family and kids!
Good night had have fun tomorrow!

Top 5 Big Real Estate Advices

If you every wanted to buy real estate in Croatia, most beautiful country in Adriatic sea (especially in summer), you have to be careful about five following topics. This article is must-to-read before you start to invest or buying your house for living in Republic of Croatia.

1. Clear ownership/property of Real Estate
You have to check property papers of any real estate because state's institutions do not have right picture what is going on out there and there is lot of frauds. But, don't worry. If you care enough in all aspects of procedure, everything can go just fine. If you invest in new building or flat, ask for building license and license for use. The property paper must not be older then five days because of more credibility of informations in paper.

2. Age of Real Estate
Evaluate the age of flat or house. Look at status of the stairway, elevator, frontal wall and other installations (electricity wires and pipes for cold and warm water, heating, gas). Check sound and warmth isolation, but don't forget to check wooden elements (if any). It is related to you future bills, because thin walls and bad wooden elements needs more money for living. If you choose flat in older building, then you must calculate renovation besides fully finished new apartment. It is you decision!

3. Location of windows/rooms
North or south, west or east? In Croatia, usual recommendation for living room, dinning room and kitchen is southern or eastern side of building. That is because of a lot of sun shine and warmth during year. For bedrooms it is recommended to have windows in eastern side. Sun will not wake you up and you can sleep longer (e.g. by weekends). Also, do not forget about look from your windows - would you like to see park, forest, street of neighbor's window?

4. Real estate micro and macro location
Check your new micro and macro location. Micro location are your neighbors, are you in first floor or in the ground floor, what environment is around your flat (or house) and, somewhere most important, do you have your parking place? In big cities in Croatia, there is less and less spaces to park your car. Macro location means evaluation of distance between your flat/house and tram or bus station, city center, school, kinder garden, doctor, market and other important places to you; maybe - from your work? Also, check other places around your real estate. Just to be sure that one day you won't have to look to other building whole day.

5. Finances
If your are tourist/stranger in Croatia, you will have to establish limited company to buy real estates. It is a way to avoid law. New established companies don't have easy and simple way to use bank credit for real estate buying so you will have to invest your own money through your newly created company. Also, check if you could sell your real estate one day (in case of need, removal or financial problems) for good price. In other parts of Europe, because of job changing and removal, it is good plan to rent your real estate. But, people in Croatia are more interested in buying a living space besides renting.

Conclusion
One most important thing about finances in real estates in Croatia is fact that prices are higher and higher every day. One square meter (m2) of flat in capital city (Zagreb) was about 1,000 € in 2005. This days, price is above 2,000 €. And going up! But, there is always one but! Number of sold flats are collapsing for about 50% in 2007. Never the less, it is still good investment to invest in real estates in Croatia.