Mujo and Haso are Bosnian national joke idols for many decades before. There is a million jokes about Mujo and Haso from ex-Yugoslavian region. Everybody here knows about them. And a movie was made about these two guys by Ranko Đurić Đuro and Igor Arih in Slovenia (ex-Yugoslavian country).
Often there is one women in their jokes and her name is Fata. Also, sometimes there is third funny guy called Suljo. So, we picked up five funnies jokes about Mujo and Haso and translated them into English:
1. Football game and beer
Mujo and Haso went to football game. They made an agreement - when any team achieve one goal they will take one dram of beer. Football game ended with score 0:0. Then Mujo said to Haso:
- "Haso, let's go to the basketball game!"
Note: This is typical joke about Mujo and Haso. Simple, sharp and funny.
2. Mercedes
One American, one German and Haso were asked about the time period in which they can buy brand new Mercedes.
- "I can buy Mercedes for one month" - said American.
- "Ich can buy Mercedes for twenty days" - said German.
- "I must call my darling Fata. She hold all our finance and she is only one who can give me an answer" - said Haso.
- "Halo, Fata! How much time do we need to buy Mercedes?"
- "Uh, Haso, call me back in 5 minutes till I count everything and check the situation".
After five minutes....
- "So, Fata, did you calculated?"
- "Yes! We need six months to buy Mercedes"
- "Er, what??" Six months?! Are you nuts? Why so much time?"
- "Calm down, dear. It is not my fault. You know that Mercedes is a big company with many, many workers in it.... It is not so easy!"
Note: This joke is about IQ of Mujo, Haso and Fata. This one is very polite joke. Many of their jokes are about sex and their stupidity. Many of jokes are not translatable to English because ex-Yugoslavian languages (remember - similar but different!!) have many, may rude words. We could say that anywhere on Earth you can not find such richness of rude words (linked with sex of woman and men) then here. These words are so rude that they are NOT mentioned in local dictionaries.
3. Fata and doctor
Fata is taken by intensive care in city hospital. Mujo is waiting for doctor in front of main entrance. Doctor came out and talked to Mujo:
- "Your Fata is not looking good"
- "Doctor, I know that, but she is good cooker, she is good with our children and that is the reason why she is my wife"
Note: Another one about their IQ. Some Bosnian people (from Bosnia and Herzegovina) didn't like these jokes because sometimes Mujo was not called "Mujo" but only "Bosnian". But, when you use name Mujo or Haso in joke, they are not offended. They laugh. In spite of fact that Mujo and Haso are national symbols for Bosnian people.
4. Unemployed Mujo
Mujo came to institution for unemployment social care. The asked them for their occupation:
- "I'm bagger assistant."
- "Er?! What does it mean?"
- "You don't know?! It is simple - everything bagger can not - I do with paddle!"
Note: Bosnia was never been developed country because of many historical wars (Ottoman Empire, two Word Wars, Balkan wars) and today also, Bosnian people don't have developed economy. So, many people are without job there.
5. Mujo in Germany
Mujo went to Germany to find a real job. He is talking to his possible employee.
- "From where are you?"
- "From Bosnia."
- "Oh, yes. I'm sorry, but you, people from Bosnia, can not work in our company because you are so lazy!"
- "No, no, no! We are not lazy! People from Montenegro are lazy. We are dumb! So, do I have a job?"
Note: Another one which is joking about Bosnian IQ, but also with Montenegro's laziness. It was not so rare, but because of bad working environment, many of Bosnian people (but, not only Bosnian - also Croats and Serbs) went to Germany for job after end of Second Word War till these days. Germany was importing foreign working power these days. Germany is now part of European Union and Bosnian people can't go there just like before. But, these days people from Bosnia and Herzegovina are going to work in nearby Croatia.
6. Kawasaki
(first time top six list!)
Haso and their friends were sitting in bar. First they heard:
- "Wroaaaarrrrrrrrrrr!!!! Wrrrrrrrrrrrrruum!!!"
...and went out to see what is going on. And they saw Mujo riding Kawasaki in main street. Mujo was yelling:
- "Does anybody here have Kawasaki like mine?!!?? Does anybody here have Kawasaki like mine??!??"
Haso just bought the same but little bit better motorbike. So, Haso yell at Mujo:
- "I have!"
- "Haso, can you tell me how to turn it down???!!"
Note: IQ again...
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